God Bless Airports

Posted on Saturday, August 29th, 2009 under Blog Posts.

I’m at Oakland International waiting to get on my flight to Seattle.  I must say, I love airports.  I love to people watch.  And who am I currently observing, you ask?

-There’s a dad on his cell phone chasing his little girl around.  He’s got one of those super hi-tech backpacks on, like he should be climbing the Alps or something. I think he went to the Sean Mahoney school of parenting, because the little girl does what she wants!

-Then there’s the old guy sitting near me who cut the sleeves off his shirt and the sleeveholes are big enough to expose his extra-hairy shoulderblades (and his sweet shoulderblade tan, which reveals that he’s no stranger to the sleeveless t-shirt).

-Of course there are about 15-20 of my fellow caffeine junkies, all getting their fix from the Starbucks next to our terminal.

-There’s a guy in his mid-40’s who is dressed in blue slacks, a navy blazer, a collared shirt in a different hue of blue, and sandals with gray socks. Fancy.

-Now everyone started rushing the lines so they can stand up for the next 15 minutes instead of sitting and waiting to board.  Nice.

-By the way, security was nice enough to remove my toothpaste from my bag.  They informed me that it was too much liquid. My question: Is toothpaste a liquid? I always felt it belonged in the family of solids.

-There’s also the question in my head, “Why do all these people need to get to Seattle so early on a Saturday? To see the fish fly at Pike’s Place? To get even better coffee? To get a lunch spot on the space needle?” And I bet at least 5 of them are thinking the same thing about me.

-One last thought before I get on my plane.  I think planes should have dress-up themes.  Like, if you’re flying on a certain flight, it lists that you get like a $10 discount or whatever if you dress according to theme. I’d love it and I’d definitely play along. First of all, it would be way more fun to get on a plane full of animals, or full of 80s-themed apparel, or maybe in a plane full of all black things (gorillas, vampires, butlers, James Bond, etc). Second, I think it would interest the little kids and help them all be a LOT quieter as you fly. And third, it would give the people who work at security and the check-in counters a reason to smile at work.

Not to mention that it would make my people-watching way more interesting.